Summer school is 4 days away. I'm kinda excited to be overly busy but at the same time, this break has been pretty nice. After thinking long and hard I decided to take Trig and Stats at the same time over the summer so I don't have to worry about taking Stats with Chem and Cal. Doing this also put me ahead of the game and I should be graduated from Delta by spring! Holy cow! That was quick! I just have to be sure to be super studious and pass everything! *pressure*
I also got a new phone. This happened yesterday. This happened because my stupid iPhone broke. I didn't even have the dang thing a year. It just stopped responding to touch. Completely. And it's possessed. Like it does this thing where it decides what I'll be clicking on and looking at and what apps I'll be using and when I'm using my camera. Like how does it even get that bad!? I paid so much for that phone to not have it a year. Like for real. I even fixed it once for it to brake like 2 weeks later. SOOO, I wanted to get another iPhone but Mother (who thankfully allows me on her family plan) said if I get a new phone it must be paid in full and I must also pay off my iPhone completely. I can't argue with that, she wants to knock her bill down, word. So I paid the last bit on it (not very much because I paid most of it off already), kissed my iWatch farewell, as I can't use it anymore, and bought an unlock phone. A phone 300 bucks cheaper than the iPhone. The Sony Xperia A1. BUM BUM BUM!
So far I really like it. Granted, it's only been a day. But I fixed it up to be customized to my liking and I'm actually very impressed with everything. It has a 23mp camera which is SUPER impressive. I don't really get the kinks of it yet, but I love the Xeperia experience so far. It's weird having a phone I can make custom to me. I still miss my watch though. I dunno if I wanna sell it or wait and see if I will eventually get the money to get another iPhone again one day. I'm sure by then my watch won't even sync to the newer iPhones. Oh Apple. I've had 3 new phones in this past year. It's kinda terrible. I think I should've stuck with my blackberry. It was classic (blackberry joke). Hopefully this Sony works. I've always wanted a Sony phone since the Walkman was a thing. It was my favorite phone ever. The only phone that took great pictures, had decent audio, and texting was good. It also slid and looked cool and fit in a pocket beautifully. Good ol' keyboard days. I have a feeling I will fall absolutely in love with this phone and I will continue with the Sony series from here on out. Good thing now is...that can be whenever I feel like it since I don't have a contract! WOOT WOOT!
One of my coworkers wrote to in the contest Letters About Literature and wrote this amazing letter to the author she chose to write to. Her letter was super inspirational and really touches me in areas. I dunno if I cried out of joy for her or if I cried because I could empathize with the pain she felt and the break through she had. Or all of it!
I love how she says that she was able to see she could be all the things that made her amazing at once without having to be accepted by others. She was able to overcome the feeling of guilty and letting others down for not being what they needed her to be and to just grow so much from it. It's amazing that the books touched her so much. This is pure proof that books can have an amazing effect on people. That people have a major effect on people. It also shows that one person's talent to write and persevere through writing a series helped another feel free. Now this girl's words will be read by not only the author but by so many other people and it will touch them like it touched me. It's a chain effect. A beautiful one at that.
I know my last post was a bit vague and short, but I was limited on time. I didn't realize I was limited until last minute. I mentioned how I was hungry...a friend called me up and invited me out to eat as soon as that sentence happened. Who can blame me for pressing post and running out the door? When I got back I had to adult (do laundry to make up the bed so my daughter and I could go to bed).
Now that I'm out of school and have some incredible down time until Summer Session begins, I decided to write a little and work on this blog a bit more.
Ok, so Saturday was kinda insane and amazing. I mentioned three of my best friends graduating. I was going to add a picture to the post of two of them, but I'm still working out some kinks with that (mostly, I'm too lazy to just email pictures to myself...I'm trying to link them instead). I love that they all graduated at one time, so now I have no more graduations to go to until mine. Jen and Tyler started at ULM at the same time and both took breaks at different times. They graduated together (with me) in high school, and now they graduated from the SAME COLLEGE at the SAME TIME. It's fate.
I felt chills as I stood there and watched everyone graduate. Something about large crowds like that make me incredibly happy. I tear up. This even happens at 4th of July events and such...it's sorta embarrassing. I just love seeing everyone gathered together celebrating significant things. Like, we're all thinking in unity and happy for each other. It's overwhelming, that amount of joy in one location.
Enough being a sentimental baby...
I was only able to find two of the three after everyone was outside of the coliseum, which was Jen and Tyler. I was so happy for them. I can't say it enough.
Afterwards, I went to Jen's party. There, I had some orchada (excuse my spelling) and flan. Oh and the most amazing main course ever! It was all pretty fun. Jen's husband and I raced up his parents backyard wall. I got slightly injured on the way up and humbly took second place. Mitch received a slightly worse injury than me. That is a nice lesson...sometimes being the best means getting hurt the most. Maybe that can be placed in some perspective...hmmm?
Anywhowhatassss....I have a ton more to talk about, but I need to learn to open up a bit more for you, my readers. I get a bit cautious with the real feels.
I passed my math final with a 93! And my professor gave me 10 bonus points to bump my overall grade to a B! That's the best thing ever! I was so sure I would have a C for the class. YAY! 😺
3 of my best friends graduated college this weekend! I was so excited for them it was unreal. I can't imagine how that must feel! It's weird to think that I could've been down there had I continued with school when I started in 2011. But I wouldn't have been as headstrong as I am now.
I'm hungry as heck right now so I think I'm going to eat.
I watched a YouTube video by Charisma on Command called 4 Simple Questions to Find Your Passion.
I love this channel so much and I recommend everyone to check out their videos because they are very helpful, especially if you're socially awkward like me.
I pretty much knew head on what my passions are but I decided to give it a go and see if maybe I have a hidden passion somewhere.
The answers to these questions for me are
- God
- Meteorology/weather related topics
- The Paranormal
- Talking to people I look up too
- Self Motivation
Anyways, this has inspired me to write all about my 5 passions. I will tell you why I love them. Because why not! Being passionate about something is amazing. It's a lot of the reason why we connect with certain friends and reach out to certain leaders. Our passions can drive us, and we should take the time to analyze them, because passions can destroy as much as make you grow. For example...I'm quite passionate about the paranormal, but I would never gamble to deep into it or try to make a career out of it. Luckily, meteorology is a huge passion that can lead me somewhere great, so that's the career option I've chosen. I would say the paranormal and talking to people I look up to are my most destructive passions. The other 3 are very positive and help me grow. Talking to poeple I look up to can help me grow too but not when I look like an eager little puppy trying to smother them in fan-girl love.... 😞 At least God likes it....
What are you guys passionate about? Do you think your passions are pushing you in the right direction? Are you good at your passion? Do you think your passions are destructive? Do you think there's a good balance? QUESTIONS!
I'm feeling a bit interactive today.
For a couple of weeks I was feeling a bit down, but here in the past week I have suddenly become hyper aware of feeling good. Like I said in the last post, your happiness comes from within, not from without. Did I say that? I think I said something similar anyways.
I've been feeling self amused. VERY self amused. I've been redirecting everything to be my fault, but my fault in a positive way. I've been also thinking a lot more before immediately opening my mouth. I also deleted all access to social media on my phone (only I recently got instagram back because I have a friend that I love to support on there, plus the story thing is very good for self amusement.)
I honestly never even look at my likes or anything. This is something I've become proud of lately. See, before, I used to care SOO MUCH about how many likes and stuff I received on social media. I remember feeling so dang terrible when I got no more than 3 likes on certain things. Things I thought were very likable. It made me feel a bit inadequate to the norms of life. Maybe my taste was a little bland or maybe a little too exotic. Either way, I began to learn to dislike myself all because I based how MY likes are not much to be valued in other's eyes.
I found this to be a problem...a problem I tended to overlook. And it went on for awhile. I eventually got this app called snapchat...I hated this app before I downloaded it for many personal reasons, but I did it to be connected to a certain friend. I began to actually enjoy the filters and the way the camera made my face seem so much prettier than before. But I also began noticing more flaws about myself. My nose is a bit crooked and my left eye is a bit sloppy and what's up with my eyebrows? I started wearing far more makeup than usual and tweaking these areas I didn't notice to be as much of a problem as before...I even took these problems into account when it came to taking regular photos. I didn't enjoy when people took photos of me. But I did start to make a habit of positioning my face just right for a photo. So...I did start to look a little better in pictures.
In the end, I was so fed up with caring about all these stupid things that make me feel so ugly and undervalued. Of course these apps weren't the only contributing factors, I was already having a terrible time with myself and loving myself and forgiving myself because this past year made me fall into a hurtling depression that I fought hard to overcome EVERYDAY. Talk about exhausting...
I would say things to myself like "I am annoying" "no one actually likes me" "I am simple and uninteresting" "I am the reason everything failed" "I am broken" "I can never recover from this" etc. I cried almost every night.
And to feel better I would write all the things I'm grateful for, hang around the people I who made me feel positive, took up a lot of exercising, getting more involved in my hobbies and interest, and taking pictures of everything that made me happy.
Then, back in March, it hit me. I needed to get my crap together and I needed to do it in the most cold turkey way possible. I deleted contacts from snapchat so I had no reason to get back on. I deleted snapchat from my phone.
I deleted Facebook and only get on with my laptop to look at notifications to keep up with my close friends and look at the first couple of post which I personalized to be God related and inspirational quotes.
I deleted Tumblr.
I focused Twitter only on meteorology to stay up-to-date on latest weather stuff.
I deleted instagram to get rid of the need to post pictures. Only I got that one back after I became super un-addicted to social media. I got it back because I love sharing pictures that make me happy and interacting with my friends on there. I think of it more of a self amusement platform with friends more than a social platform. It's like all the social media platforms in one but you can choose your favorite parts. For me, that's posting pictures of what I love and being crazy on my story with my BFFs. Because it's about me enjoying my life and friends. Not anyone else.
And I've become far happier without any of the rest. I feel a far less need to be accepted because I notice everyone else around me and focus on God, me, my interest, and my friends. The things that make me happy. And more importantly, I look in the mirror and say "You are amazing and your friends love you" "You live a fulfilling life just right for you" "You don't need to change" "You didn't do anything wrong, the situation wasn't right" "You are forgiven".
Even this blog is because I've always wanted to do a public blog but cared so much that people would not care about what I have to say. Now I don't care if anyone likes it or reads it, and I post my thoughts publicly, and I feel good about it. I like doing this!
I have a 60 day challenge ahead of me. July 1st is the day the challenge ends. So what is this challenge you ask? It's a secret 😼
Just kidding. 😸
Or am I?😼
Oh, yeah...I discovered a cat face. Bahaha!
Sigh...Here's my post...😪 (gonna go back on all my post and add smilies hehe)
April 30th
Hey it's me. Your friendly neighborhood Mikayla. I decided to go for a nice sundown walk in the brisk evening air that finally arrived this afternoon, springs last cold spell.
Before a began this walk I looked depressingly along the street I live on and sighed knowing this walk has gotten a bit monotonous. The trees are far greener than usual and birds are chirping and the sky is blue. The air smells fresh as if renewed from the thunderstorm last night. I would much rather take my walk elsewhere...at least somewhere with sidewalks...
But alas, I cannot go anywhere alone so close to sundown and having some company wouldn't be so bad.
I text my fellow companions to see who is available.
Companions who have all recently been given the gift of love in a significant other... I roll my eyes already knowing the answer from everyone.
This isn't something to be upset about, if I had a significant other I wouldn't want to spend my evening off walking with some single chick. And inviting my significant other along would only cause the most dreadful third wheel syndrome to the inviter. Besides, the further I think about, the more I want this to be a quiet walk with almost no meaning to it and no outcome to it. Just a quiet not so lonely walk.
I immediately contemplate that boy of which I have an interest in only to contemplate further if I want him to have an interest in me yet only to sigh and note that I do not want an intimate walk. I only want a brisk, not so lonely, walk.
So, I put away my phone and look at my monotonous path once again.
I could go alone to one of the locations that provide a much better atmosphere, but I'm a female and there tends to be a precautionary notion in the back of my mind saying "go alone and get kidnapped, drugged, and raped."
So I look back at my monotonous path yet again and begin taking steps. Maybe this is for me to grow closer to God and contemplate. And so...I walk alone.
Now I'm not one to be bothered by loneliness. There's nothing like watching YouTube videos and reading up on interest and having quiet time in prayer, but lately I've been having a hard time in certain areas of my life and would love some good company. Not intimate. Not dramatic. Just peaceful.
I want to not talk about things, I want to just walk in the company of another and know we are happily content as is. Taking in everything in our environment and embracing its beauty. The mere thought of sharing such an experience makes me smile at the dream. Being perfectly happy with everything God has given us and everything that is being given. Not dwelling on the hardships, just recognizing the journey.
This comforting feeling reminding each other we are fine, and we are all the same. And God has got our backs.
After this walk I realized a lot about myself. The things I have a hard time with lay within and are easily forgiven and brought to peace. We don't tend to look at our problems as minute in the moment, but with a little time with God you can definitely see that in the face of hopelessness and worry you are healed and the little things shouldn't bother you if they continue to. You should just be able to say "life is an experience" and be happy you get to enjoy the parts God brings you. It makes us individual and gives us all different stories.
It's kinda fun seeing what will happen next. Just remember to make decisions that God would approve of. Making the right decisions will make you happy even if they seem disastrous at the time!
This is easy to say but life is no walk in the park and its SUPER EASY to get caught up in emotions. Just remember to take a breath. The only thing keeping you from breathing is, not your anxiety, not your teacher, not your family, not your mother in law, but you. ✌💗
Today, I gave a pretty decent speech on the difference between storm spotting and storm chasing and how becoming a Skywarn Trained Spotter can help save lives. My audience seemed pretty impressed and I felt relaxed and comfortable other than the uncontrollable shaking... Why you gotta do that, body? I wasn't even nervous mentally...just physically...😥I thought your mind can trick you!?
During math class I worked out problems and helped a few students learn things forgotten from the beginning of the year. By the end all my classmates were talking about how they would, in fact, be sitting around me during the final. I couldn't help but laugh because I am not very good at algebra, but I loved helping my mates out. It made me feel so much more confident in my ability for the final. Just got to make a C or higher. Shooting for an A though. Oh, I made an A on my last test! 3 As and 1 F is equal too a high C in my book. Dumb Synthetic division had me like poop on that second test. Anyways, As I was leaving one classmate was chanting "I will pass this class, I will pass this class" I stopped him and said "No...you say 'I have passed this class' you just have to take the last test." He was like "Oh! That's amazing! You're pulling the Secret out!" I nearly DIED that actually understood what I was getting at! 😮No one ever get's my documentary references! Holly crap, man.
I finished my Lit paper in Lit class which means I can totally do the final now and email it to myself and turn it in immediately on Monday. Thinking ahead like a soldja...😉
This means I have one more speech to write, and a ton of studying for Geology and Math. I could write my speech NOW if I would get off my lazy at-work bum. I should write it here at work regardless of work duties, because school is far more of a priority. Geology is everything from the semester and I need an A to keep an A. You think it would be easy....But for some dang reason her test are hard. I'm actually thinking about reading the chapters....OR SOMETHING......😩
Anyways...finals week got me like "bout time" 😤and I'm so ready for it to be over.
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON MIASKEALA?🙎
Well, a lot actually!!😃 Most of everything is slightly personal but I would love to get intellectual up in here. Because sometimes we need to think.🤔 In other words, I'm not going to speak about my personal life but I'm going to talk about a deeper more spiritual level of personal. For some reason that sounds ghostly...👻
