This is going to be funny because lately I've been obsessed with OCD.😹

The reason I'm talking about this interesting fact about myself is because people don't really know what OCD is all about, nor do people realize how much OCD affects the lives of those who, I won't say suffer from, but who have it.

I have OCD.

No...stop...no...I do not wash my hands a million times or keep things orderly. My OCD is completely different. Although, depending on certain circumstances I may fall into those compulsions. Most of my it takes place in my noggin. I don't always realize what I'm doing is a compulsion, and sometimes when I do realize them, I feel like a failure. Which happens to be part of this whole shendig.

A book I'm reading about a girl who has the same OCD as me actually quoted it just right. So here is what she stated.

"I'm more obsessive than compulsive, so most of of the 'disorder' takes place in my own head. That makes it pretty easy to hide. No one knows. But I obsess about a lot of things, like guys and my friends and totally random stuff....I sort of latch on to a thought and I can't let it go. Sometimes the thoughts come rapid-fire and cause an anxiety attack."

You: all that seems normal Mikaylasha

I wouldn't know what you would actually say because I have OCD so all that is pretty much normal to me anyways. But maybe I should explain further.
These thoughts can affect my life and relationships.

Gosh, I remember the last major OCD attack I had was a few years ago. I actually feel crazy talking about it, but I cried EVERYDAY and had major panic attacks. It took me awhile to bounce back and let the thought go. It took a life changing event to let it go. My little rituals or compulsions to make sure this doesn't happen again include covering up certain words, not touching items with these words, not watch movies or shows with these words.
WORDS
So, can you imagine how weird that is to suddenly drop all those type of things because of a thought I obsessed over a few years ago. To me, it's the only way to keep it away.

That, my dear readers, is only ONE of many OCD rituals I have.

A lot of my OCD cause personality quirks. And I like to think of them as quirks.
I don't like physical touch unless it's truly intimate and I feel a deep connection, otherwise I WILL wash my hands a million times and feel disgusting all day, of course this is for hand holding. Hugging has less of that effect unless skin touches, and I have NO idea why. So if I don't hug you or go out of my way to avoid your fingers...just know it's so I don't end up washing up more than I need too, it is exhausting to feel like I need to wash my hands all day and take two showers, and still feel gross afterwards.
I have an overly high need to explain EVERYTHING....some laugh, some get annoyed...just know it's something I feel like I have to do or I'll go crazy and have a panic attack.
I am VERY morally concerned. I will stay away from most anything that makes me feel morally and ethically objective toward myself or I will lose me.
I tend to stay away from sharp and blunt objects and certain subjects.
I can be quite superstitious.
I am a perfectionist to the point that I'm very hard on myself.
I do tons of checking to make sure everything is ok.
ETC.....!!!!!!! UGHGHUGHHGH

So, yeah, basically my life revolves around this crap.

I can be quite frustrating to be around and have a relationship with.

So I would like to let everyone know, OCD is for real a problem for those who have it. It is unfathomable to people who don't have it. A thought is a thought, and that's all it is, but for us with OCD a thought is more than a thought. The thought has control. A mantra we often say over and over again to ourselves "I am in control. It's just a thought." Medicine cannot heal it, it's a way of thinking. Changing someones way of thinking is not easily done.

If you know someone with OCD or maybe who have similar actions, don't ridicule them, they're already having a hard time with themselves, they don't need someone else to bring them down.

I've learned to accept it for the most part. And my friends and family have to accept it too. It's a part of who I am. I've worked hard to make sure I have control over it, because ultimately I am in control, these thoughts don't always hinder me. I feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I show a thought who's boss. I have a very mild case of OCD and sometimes I forget it's there. But in situations where I'm awfully stressed...OCD *ominous music plays*
I've been highly stressed this whole past year. I decided to obsess over OCD itself just to learn more about it and find other ways to cope.

Ways to cope include staying busy and focused on task at hand. For me it's writing and crafting and reading and schooling and youtube. My daughter helps a lot too.

In any case, this is temporary for some people, and maybe once these hard times are over....maybe I'll never worry about it again

More information:

See what happens in the brain of someone with OCD

http://designedthinking.com/ocd/signs-of-ocd/

 http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/obsessivecompulsivedisorder.aspx

checkout books or google more.